As humans it is normal for all of us to desire attention, care, love, affection and support from others. As an individual living in a vast multifaceted and sometimes ruthless society, it is normal to feel alienated and lonely that is why most of us long for intimate companionship and mutually beneficial connection with others. Some of these innate characters can be observed in babies and children as to how they hunger and seek for attention, physical contact, and care from their parents. As we grow up, we need to have these things to help boost our self-esteem (in a proper amount) and provide us a sense of worthiness in this world. However, what is not well-known is that being the giver of these things is also just as important and beneficial as being the recipient. Just like how we feel when we receive affection and care from others, being the person who provides these human needs can also feel a very profound sense of fulfilment and happiness in life.
Our need to take care of others and to express affection is essential to our growth and evolution, individual and collective. Even small actions and deeds that benefit and help others bring us satisfactions that are helpful enough to strengthen our self-confidence and merit. This is the reason why it really feels good after doing something that make others feel happy, fulfilled, or helped. This can be proven by how we feel when we do random small acts of kindness to our families or to strangers we come across in our daily lives. Simply by helping and caring for others, we can obtain positive gratification and create our own happiness without spending or using big amount of money. Though, it is also important to put in mind that the goal of life is not just to be happy but also to provide something important for other people; a sense of responsibility and purpose in the society we live in.
However, as for the majority, these values are seemed not really important. Our current society has been conditioned (and is still being conditioned) to think that happiness can only be achieved by receiving help and things from others and not by also providing them. In addition, people these days are perpetually being bombarded, through the media for example, with notions that for satisfaction and happiness to be achieved, we must sell our precious time and pay or spend so much money. The current civilization equates contentment with endless toil and consumption; sending generations of children to schools not for real useful knowledge and wisdom that could help us in our evolutionary journey but for creating future workforce and submissive consumers.
So in a way, people who are not generous are the kinds of people who are also less happy and are likely to isolate themselves more. It seems that they have a very serious issue of emptiness and spiritual hunger, reinforcing their selfishness as opposed to cultivating their kindness. On the one hand, compared to the beggar archetype, givers or providers of happiness often begets more generosity from others and thus, results more in receiving pleasure and contentment in life. This is partly because by giving to others, we are sending a very positive message to our self that we are strong enough, that we have the capacity to offer to others. Consequently, this delivers more happiness and even attracts more compassion from others. In a sense, greediness and selfishness will never going to fulfil our spirits and will only lead to unending misery and dissatisfaction if we let them dominates us. So if you want to know the secrets to happiness, just simple try to be sincere and practice generosity.
Reference:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sapient-nature/201401/the-need-love
- Featured Photo: isaacsesi.com/figure-out-what-to-do-with-your-life/hapiness/
